Thank you Baba. 

We did the needful reading about the case. Unfortunately in this case the Dr S M (a renowned rheumatologist) made an error of judgement which may have been true with regard other doctors as well. It is not to say that he did not know his medicine. But the error led to a complication. And the worst occurred. The question and reason for the litigation started when his response/counselling to the family was poor. He apparently communicated the same in a very objective manner and washed his hands off the case. This was wrong. A heavy compensation amount was awarded due to the higher earning status of the patient. I only pray to my conscience, if in error it is better to confess and attempt to rectify. Both of us learned and reiterate this to ourselves.  

Our trip to Sangli for the state level Inspire award 2013

We started our trip in the morning at about 9:00 AM with all the project material on board including the fantastic bricks Tamaghna had made. We went to the hospital and later picked up Mr. Anthony (science teacher) from the police line area, Ratnagiri and started for Sangli. This was our first trip for the City and we were all planning a fun –trip. The weather was wet and cold with the wind screen fogging more from within due to condensation than the fog outside. I am a slow driver. I took my time to drive through the ghats of Kokan enjoying the beauty of shayadri. We talked of odds and ends and heard Michio Kaku on the CD talk of impossible science related to the near and far future. The air was full of science in mind. We saw and described so many small phenomenon of wind and breeze which displayed the beauty of daily life science as if try to understand what Prof Kaku had said about the a life without the knowledge of science. I no time we were in Kolhapur and halted at the Ayodhya hotel to have lunch.

From Kolhapur to Sangli was a travel via a road full of trenches which boldly declared the welcome into an old city. The twin city of Miraj and Sangli have often been called the city of the retired. It is known to be a calm and quite part of the state with sugar mills and fruit gardens. I didn’t take much time to reach the destination – Sangli high school where the registration needed to be done for the science exhibition. Indeed many people had come to the centre with many types of constructs to prove their little imaginations true- and so had Tamaghna.

The process of registration was short and quick and so was the place for display- this was better than the facilities available in the other centers. I remembered my childhood when I had attended one science exhibition. I too had wanted to participate to make a …. But did not do it. It remained in my dream and somebody else took the table away. The imagination did not die away. Years later I very well realized that the idea was already an area of well developed science and it was indeed a good idea but empty with out the math to back up. In such science exhibition there are always two types of evaluators – one who will be impressed by the practical utility of the machine or the final product and the other by the simple and simply the concept of the ides and its scientific evidence. How the both can be put forth in front of the critic is what has made a successful project.

We chose a hotel to stay- hotel sadananda- over night which was about 2 Km from the school.  The stay was not to stay without discomfort. We took some time out to review our project and slept over a story of ‘Ramesh and Ganpatesh’.

Log 21/09/2013

The morning broke early. It was a bright and sunny day and we freshened up quickly. Tamaghna was excited about the day to come. He enthusiastically prepared himself and clarified some of his doubts about the project. I could see the sparkling focus in him. He was confident and happy that he had made a Brick – a brick which till the present stage had stood all the recommended tests. We departed from the hotel and reached the school by about 9:00AM to setup our work. It was interesting to see the small and big thoughts that had been placed on display showing the diversity of thought that this country’s children had. I was intrigued by many a constructs of ploughing machines to weighing machines and cart made ambulance.

 It also gives us an idea of the need of people at the very grass root level. Laptops and smart phones somehow do not make there position here because the needs of the people appear to be very different for the everyday life. At about 4:30PM the examiner came and made a very cursory evaluation of the projects and left. Tamaghna was very disappointed since he was not heard enough. Well that’s part of the training – frustration tolerance. He has to learn it and work beyond the frustration so that his creativity doesn’t get killed. We ended the day by checking into another hotel, visiting the mall, eating and sleeping. Reflecting back to the emotions that we dealt with – making and breaking , winning and loosing , heard and not heard – it all culminated in our pursuit for being recognized as having done something – and something good. And this probably arises from our base fear of being told that “you have done nothing”. As a father I told my son that he has made a brick and it didn’t matter in any other way. We should learn to live with this conviction first so that our ability to think and make more doesn’t get sacrificed. Tomorrow is another day. 

Log 22/09/2013

Yes, tomorrow is another day and it inevitable comes as to today. We woke to freshen and feel nice for the days exhibition. We spent time getting ready and left the hotel for breakfast at the nearby joint – Navratna. We enjoyed south Indian food and then walked to the exhibition venue. The day was warm but pleasant with the early morning hustle and bustle yet to start on the city roads. It was a short distance to the Sangli high school. 

The mood the day before was one of dejection and disappointment. But Tamaghna had already decided that he was no longer going feel depressed. He had decided to enjoy the day and later submit the project to the website of the ‘ Department of Science and Technology”. But soon after reaching the atmosphere started getting tense and boring. The same anxiety and the same complaints started. The announcements were organized for certain districts which made us feel even worse because we felt ignored. Tamaghna was completely dejected and depressed. He hardly wanted to wait any more. Mr Anthony was generous enough to give him words of confidence and support. He gave him cautious hopes of a 2^nd round of evaluation. At about 4:00 noon Tamaghna went to see another project and suddenly in the most unexpected of situations the examiners turned up for inspection of his project. I was not sure which way he had gone. So I started to run towards the staircase. I grouped for the phone and tried to call him. The first time it did not connect. I rechecked the phone number and connected again and Tamaghna picked the call. He came running to the project site and demonstrate the project. Apparently , according to Dr Deshpande , he did perform well. Most important, he had no more complaints because the examiners had heard him this time. Depressions settled for Tamaghna and he started taking care of his friends – Atharva’ s feelings. In a few minutes they were back to play. The evening was the full of fun at the Mall and the coffee corner. We  slept well exhausted waiting for the next day to come.

Log 24/09/2013

As I write this part of the trips notes – everything regarding the exhibitions results appear to have finished. Tamaghna is out of the race and plotted out in the smart manner. He was cheated of his chance to go to a higher level when he deserved to. Anyway I shall leave the part related to complainting to destiny and see what we could learn. The day started with a feeling of freshness and enthusiasm. Somewhere I could feel that Tamaghna was uncomfortable – he was not sure about the selection. We had breakfast and were back to the venue. We setup the project and it was declared that a revision round for the sake of students are to be held. The examiners came and saw the projects. Tamaghna’s project was not seen this time. They said that everything was planned. Well what happened thereafter is a depressing experience and a shame at the ideas of scientific spirit. We were  not selected and we were told that all the effort to write a scientific report was a waste and unimportant. Anything other than sincerity could work. The return journey was difficult and distressing with all four of us quite and disappointed. We learnt that many things need to be taken care beyond the normal effort. We have to be smart if we were to be able to fight these dangers to science. In this whole event Tamaghna and my self kept up the hope that may be we need to improve our project better and present it in some better place and better time. We sent a copy of our work to Dr Abdul Kalam in order to feel heard. Rest we leave to what our destiny reveals.

22/08/2013

I am hopelessly stuck with internalization. The events unwinding in my life during the last 2 years are adversely affecting me. I want to get beck to the last days when I was happy and successful. I was triumphant and rejoiced what ever I did irrespective of the outcome. If I am to think back , I don’t recollect those days in the near past. During the last 8 to 10 years, I appear to be gradually rolling down onto a slope smudged with shame and failure. There is much in repentance. The world is not seeing much of it or perhaps they are not bothered about it. But for me these nights are not silent. I am scared of a deeper night. I await for the new light to come – and I don’t know when it shall. 

 

25/08/2013

Mr Sachin Sarolkar invited us to his 10 years completion of learning point. It was an eye opener about the amount of work he was doing and the strength and drive a person can have in doing the work he wants to do. He is a tireless person with a multitude of activity. During the whole event and for that matter, during the last few years that I know him I realized his physical handicap to be a very small matter. Much greater was the broad shoulder with which he was carrying his responsibilities.

8/05/2013

I would call it a precious day if memories were the currency of our time line. After 15 years I revisited a place which was where a transition phase of my life began. Why I didn’t visit it before, I wouldn't be able to say it now. I went to  my college days in LTMMC , Sion hospital Mumbai. There was a rush of nostalgic feelings which I certainly enjoyed. I saw the council room where my association with my wife began. For us this should be the true place of remembrance. Yogita appeared to remember certain instances better than me.  I wanted to go up to visit the anatomy department but we decided not to. And then we walked the distance from sion Hospital to sion station – something we have done many times. We have talked  odds and ends and left no chance to start a fight. I remembered the way Yogita would want to buy a greeting card from the Archie’s shop. The shop has moved to another corner. The bus stops , the small street side shops , Gurukrupa hotel , we revisited recollections of many small incidents of our adolescence. Those were the days when we lived with great emotional support from each other. And we also realized how different it was now...  

The walk together

father and son. [digital hand sketch]

We walked together, my father and me

A feather from nowhere flew in front of us

With an expression of deep pleasure 

For the feather to rest, my father held his palms together

He said he knew the quill well, long before I was born.

It was the belonging of a bird who lives many stories

And someday disappears to return to the child who will be to follow.

This bird is mine and the feather carries memories

I was intrigued at the mention of memories and immediately requested

What else does the feather say?

As he  read the feather and the message was as follows

There is a decoration  about which we are to be proud

The owner was unpretentious and kept the matter in humble mention

He lived a mundane life with the common success and errors in  his mind

He assured his father was never disrespected

 Because to the common he was reputed

As years passed the little piece of metal was safely kept away into a common mans chest

I was shown this piece when I was a child

and often had a feeling  of pride

With time I too lost the thought

to some part of my pleasant memory.

In the meantime the tinker lay in the darkness of the chest quietly

So dark it was that a generation passed by

Lonely and untouched it thought it was lost to the abysmal depth of the timeless

And look now this feather has reminded me of the forgotten medal.

They who forgot to value, forgot it even existed

And quietly we walked along

I could feel my father feel his begetter

On inquiry I was able to retrieve the medal from an aunt who loved me.

She was prompt to give it to me as a family memoire

When I showed my father his lost inheritance

there was a face flushed with memories

But once I saw the eyes of a son

the pleasure of being identified through his father

Nearly a century later the tinker found its value

as a memory keeper  to our family

And with silent pride in the heavens he heard – we love you father.

As we walked the stretch talking about the medal

My attention was drawn off the feather

I realized that it had disappeared and my father’s hand was by his side following the swing of his stride.

To my surprise he reassured that the feather will come back at another time

When I shall walk the stretch with my son

 to remind me of something I will have forgotten

and hence is preserved the link – not in the object with the memory

but the bird who sheds a  feather in its flight

Pratyush Chaudhuri 2018

letter from father to son

This is a very special letter in this era of email and cellular phone. This is a letter containing high dilution medicine from a inorganic chemist father to his neurosurgeon son for a corn on his foot. Deep concern for sons illness, insight about the science of high dilution chemistry and a conviction about therapeutic potential is reflected in this envelope. This will be my greatest memento from my father to me. 

Hegdewar School in Panjim - exam center

This is the state of the school where SOF exam was held in Panjim. It was a bunch of shops which was converted into class rooms. I wonder how such classes can be sanctioned by authorities. During the exam, the class rooms were opened and in some classes, parents were sitting on the hind benches.

Panoramic view of the school. there was no canteen or food outlets and the toilet was no better than an outlet drain.

Staff room of the school. I wonder how teachers are motivated to teach.

One of the side walls of the school. Dilapidated walls was a typical scene.

Students writing exams. this is an exam crazy country. Parents like me want our children to write  exams for the certificate at any place. I certainly regretted this on the 17th feb 2013 at panjim. there are any good schools but the appreciation for such quality is poor. I hope all parents are making an effort to change the situation.

The famous Hegdewar School - a complete disaster.

at lalit resort and the vivanta

Basilica of Bom Jesus, Goa

Visit to Goa 1-5th feb 2013

Our visit  to Goa

Day 1^st feb

We started from home at about 8:30 AM. It was a bright and sunny day with a pleasant temperature and Yogita and I decided not to debate or argue or squabble or fight or ….. And young man tamaghna was the witness. He checked his food bin and was ready to start his crunching and mom put the first restriction – to eat after hathkhamba. Well, most of the trip was full of fun – we talked of many issues and relied on google GPS to guide us to Panjim. As with most reliable electronic services, we were soon off the track by nearly 4-5 km when we realized that we mainly occupied the road. I felt since it was Friday the traffic was slim, but tamaghna suggested that it was too thin. It was then that we realized that we were off the track. Soon we had GPS over-ride working (yogita ofcourse) and Google was dumped. We stopped at a couple of places- Sorcul was a nice small joint of the way. Sorkul meant an earthen small pot. There was a lot of Warli work done on the wall. Food was average. We also had a glance at the Nandanvan residential complex being made.

The next stop was at café” Coffee Day. Toko had his favourite doughnut and Yo had her extra-large cappuccino. I took Photographs.

Then we phoned the hotel to get directions til Margaon to the hotel. After reaching Margaon, I think the search for the final destination proved equally labourers. We were very close and yet not there. It reminded me of “the game of hot and cold – search the treasure” we played in childhood. At last at about 4:30PM we reached the hotel.

The hotel reception service could be better. The rest of the day was good. Later in the evening, we went on the beach. The beach was not very exciting, we had better beaches at Ratnagiri. But I was amazed by the number of Russians and the amount of alcohol. Mom broke her belt – we bought one. We then went around the market place and later back to the hotel. We ate something called shwarma- shredded chicken meat with salad in roti or bread wrap, 40/- – good concept. Feet aching we crashed to bed – day 1.

Day 2

We are still in Colva, at the Golden Palm Hotel by the beach. The day began early because I had to go to the conference. The family appeared to be refreshed and we were off to breakfast in the lounge area. The food was average, Took did enjoy the variety and the buffet presentation. He made his own burger with gingerbread and lettuce. I was getting delayed so I excused myself and proceeded to the venue site – Canacona [KanKon]. The drive was initially occupied with finding the right direction. Later I realized, I was driving among the most unruly motorists in my experience. The roads are terrible at places with severely narrowed constrictions and ideal drivers insensitively parking their vehicles to further compromise the road. It took me one hour of driving to reach my destination. It was a fabulous place and did not take me much time to reach the venue hall. It was 5 min past 10 AM and I hastily reached the lecture hall. To my surprise, the hall was completely deserted and no activity had started. I waited for an hour at the well-decorated hall before there were any body came in. Then it took another 30 minutes to get started. I was amazed at the lack of time concern. And then came the lectures which were designed to talk about themselves. All of them talked about what they had done and those who didn’t did not make much sense of what they talked about. I think most of it is there in the text book. I was indeed very happy to meet Dr B K Misra and see Dr Atul Goel. I wanted to hear them speak –and I heard them speak. They spoke the same old biased talk and nobody else talked. I feel somebody should tell them to be innovative in their talk. Gopal was absent and I phoned him to find he was busy. I meet many of my colleagues – Dr MA Khan [he was glad to let me know that he was attached to 3 big hospitals], Dr Yogesh [he appeared to be  lost in his constipated effort to express his happiness at meeting after 13 years], Dr Anil Patil – Satara [he was busy gloating on the food and surprised we had finished early], Dr Chadrashekar  [ he is settled in Pune – very pleasant personality. We met after 15 years] and dr Chaurasia [he is in Bhopal, talked some sense, showed me a lot of operated patients' imagings and let me know that he was operating more than 60 cases with good financial success. He wishes to start his hospital soon]. I met them,  tried to understand them and soon found myself to be a distorted variant from the rest, rather restricted by opportunity in this direction and completely of the mainstream. I sat through the rest of the lecture of the 2^nd session and drove back for an hour back to my family. I was feeling depressed and the worst was that I didn’t know what I was feeling bad about. Later I settled down relaxed, and went for Toko’s favorite dominoes pizza. We sat at the poolside for a while and retired for the day.

I heard Prof E. Laws speak. Well, I wonder whether it was worth travelling so far for this purpose, but it was certainly a good experience to hear Prof Choux and Prof Hermeinski from Finland. These are men who have led big centres of neurosurgical eminence worldwide. They all bottomed out on the delivery of quality service, not numbers.

Day 3 - 3/02/2013

I decided to quit the 2^nd half of the conference. Somewhere within I did feel bad about missing the lectures, but then it was time I chose to do what I felt was correct. We woke up lazy, at about 7: 45AM, and had tea followed by a wash and breakfast. Toko then took to the pool and enjoyed for about 2 hours. It was then time to check out from the hotel. By the way, I should mention of ‘yeva’. She was one among the visitors to the hotel, a small Russian girl who even went to peep into our room to check what Toko was doing. When we left the hotel, the Russian family went to the beach. We decided to go to the place called ‘Ancestral Goa’. And My GPS over-ride was already having headache. The weather was warm and humid. As usual, we lost our way several times. When we reached ‘Ancestral Goa ‘we were hoping to see something exceptional. The work was innovative enough, but somewhere it was poorly maintained and dusty. The number of tourists visiting the place should be motivation enough to push for better standards. The ‘Big Foot’ area was in particular, poorly managed, dusty and improperly done for an artist. The Hall of Fame was a good concept which could be emulated somewhere else. We had ‘Limboo sharbat ‘ at the food stall and then proceeded to ‘Shantadurga ‘ temple. That must have been about a 30 km drive and we lost our way at least 2 times. The temple was on a large elevated complex. It had beautiful icons of Ma Durga. There was a stone idol of Narayan. I liked the art form but the attitude of the priest to hold on to the last thing that he had to subjugate worshippers was dismal. They all conduct the temple like a rigorous teacher managing a classroom with absolute and obsolete dictates. If priests are so often frustrated I seldom want to communicate with them and better avoid. Going to a temple is a discomfort rather than a pleasure for me. Luckily, I don’t need the temple to meet god. We ate at the canteen on the temple campus. I could feel the feeling of satiety that Yogita and Toko had after having the rice and dal at the canteen. They ate with great pleasure the food of choice – bhat,dal, channa masala and gulab-jamun. Over the years I had developed a lack of interest in these or any specific food and could adjust to any food. I never enjoyed and particular food so much as I saw them enjoy the very simple meal. We left for Panjim after buying two hats for Yogita and Toko.

Reaching Vivanta was a similar experience. We lost our way at least 2 times and were given wrong directions once. Then when we reached the hotel I drove the car to the basement and was later helped back to the porch.  The experience in vivanta on the first day was fabulous. We liked it right from the first reception. The reception was warm and kind. The room was beautiful. The services were so different from our past experience. I was happy to enjoy the moments with my family. I remembered Yokohama and Thailand, but I remember being alone. Here we enjoyed everything together. ‘Caramel’ was the name of the croissant store. We ate walnut cake and chocolate. And in the evening went for a stroll to the Miramar Beach. We were impressed with the cleanliness of the sand. Returning home at about 9:00PM , we realized it was time for dinner. We ate at the ‘Tamari’ – Thai food. We all liked it. We returned to the room and requested a DVD movie – spy Kids.  And along came complimentary Pepsi and popcorn. We enjoyed it and soon slipped into deep slumber.

Day 4 – 4/02/2013

The day started with cuddling Toko beneath the warm blanket. When he refused to wake up, I started the day myself. It was cold and wet. It had rained at night. With a hot cup of tea, I relaxed by the window side. Soon Yogita and Toko joined me. We went for our breakfast at the ‘latitude ‘ lounge. The meal was good and there was enough to choose from. Well fed, we proceeded to meet FX – Oh! , I meant St Francis Xavier. It was a good experience at the Basilica of Bom Jesus. We took the help of Mr Satish, the local Guide to take us around. He was good to explain us about the details of the religious sentiments [or that’s what I felt].  The maintenance of the basilica was pitiful with poor artisans employed to do the job. Mr. Satish suggested the cause to be the unavailability of proper technique and material. But I do not think so. We have some of the best surface coating agents in the world at the most economical rate. It only reflected the attitude of the workman who forms part of the local population. We saw the Museum maintained by the Archeological Society of India [ASI].  Toko participated in an activity very spontaneously by drawing and colouring the symbol of Sacred Heart School. By the time we came out of the Museum, my feet were aching and Yogita was thirsty. We went to the local canteen and found the waiter least bothered to take a request. After waiting for a while, we left the canteen still hungry. We saw the ruins of St Augustine Chapel, which were under renovation by ASI. On our way back we stopped at ‘Mum’s kitchen’ and had good food of the goan style. This was followed by a visit to ‘Fabindia’ where I was made to wait for a long time on the porch and Toko frequenting between mom and pop. Of course, we knew what Mom was doing. Back at the hotel after some rest, I and Toko proceeded to the swimming pool and Yogita went to the Spa for facial therapy. We enjoyed dinner together followed by a movie [Ice Age 4] and popcorn.

Dear Family Date : 30/12/2012

I am speaking from my new home not very far from you. I am fine and in great comfort particularly after my pain has gone. The week before I left all of you I was in great pain and was not able to tell any of you. Though I know father did feel something was unwell about me he would often forget about it because he had many things to remember all day. But no regrets, I am fine now.

Here I spend my time the way I used to when I was with you. Barking and running around. Do you remmember be running for my own tail when I was a child. I often do the same now as well. Its fun to do so. I feel very energetic and healthy. There is somebody like father who plays with me with the red ball , throwing it on the road to pick and bring back. I don't want to give the ball back and he would take it out of my mouth or behave as if he ignores it and after sometime suddenly turn around to pick and through again. I love it all the same again. Father pats me , hugs me and even sleeps with me on the floor. He rubs my chest and I feel like swaying with comfort and then he loves me with a rub on my head.

Toko brother is someone I miss here. There is no one who loves so simply. He has small hands and feet to play with me, carefully putting them in my mouth and believing in me that I shall not hurt him. He loved me on returning from school, cared to give me a piece of the food he ate and always kept the chocolates away from me. He called me brother and best friend. I hope I will find a guy of the sort here soon. Hope toko find a friend soon at home as well.

Hey I am sure Mom is sad and feeling gloomy. She loved me I know. Let her know I live in peace here in my new home though away but not very far. I will always be close to her. She taught me dicipline and love all at once and kept the best food. She gave me medicine when I was sick. The injection she gave me on the last day was very comforting. It decreased  pain I could not tell you all. I missed the food she cooked for me [and I saw you eat it all.. bark]. Did I ever tell you that when you were in Japan I slept close to her window because I was scared more than her and she always thought the other way. I loved to see all of you together at home and mother cooking and we relishing the food. Do you remember the way I used to finish the Aloo Paratha at one go. Well those were good day. Tell mom I loved her as much.

I shall miss our sister and my gracious care takers who silently always loved me without a complaint. Kalatai is an angel all in one . She loved me with all she could – the timely food , clean place to lie in and unforgetful concern when I would go for a walk alone. I troubled her more than any by soiling the courtyard. There were times when I could not hold on and other times it was a habit but I know it was always a pain for her. I wish I could say to her how much I love her.

Grand parents must be missing me as well. Do you remmember the time you managed to run the car over me. The only comfort was Babas lap with his comforting silence. I loved the presence of Ma and Baba because you were always so much happier in their presence. I do have many elderly people here but you know they always take time to get friendly. Shinde Kaka will miss me and I shall miss him as well. But he will be happy to know that here in my knew house no body ties me up and there is enough pedigree to last forever. I go on very long walks on my own and come back home safely.

Though I live close to you even now and am very happy and in good health, I do miss all that happened in the last 6 years , the shouting, the chasing, the happiness the anger, the periods of loneliness and being with all of you. Tell mom that I never scared the butterfly , the squirrel or the birdie. I used to be excited to know how there lives were. Now that I will have a choice to become something on earth, I hope to become one of them and if I am close by I will keep watch over my brother grow. I wish you all happiness and sweet memories of me. And I shall carry the same with me as I meet the elements of world.

Love

Ginger.